“It only means that you will discover that you are more wonderful than you have ever imagined…” – Frances Wilshire, 1935
Sometimes, when we are in the flow with our work, and everything is going well, we will hit an emotional wall. I was speaking with one of my students this week and she mentioned that, in the midst of all of the amazing work she has been putting in for school, she was feeling irritable with the people around her. She wondered what to do about the situation to avoid getting involved in “drama”. I asked her if she had taken the time to give herself some credit for all of the work she has been doing and her recent accomplishments. My student admitted that she has never been comfortable with giving herself compliments. I let her know that she is not alone.
Taking time to appreciate our own efforts can seem foreign in our world, perhaps even arrogant. I have, over time, learned the importance of taking the time to notice and appreciate the good that I am doing in my life, and the progress I have made in different areas of my life. When I started this practice, it seemed silly. I thought that it did not really matter if I valued my own efforts. I have come to a place where I realize that prizing my own efforts actually opens me up to value the efforts of the people around me. If I have been working especially hard, or have been especially focused on a certain project, it is important that I take the time to appreciate myself and renew my enthusiasm for what I am doing. I find that this helps me maintain my focus as we move through the school year, when it is easy to feel overwhelmed by all that must get accomplished.
Another benefit of complimenting ourselves for a job well done, is that it allows us to be more self sufficient, and less dependent on outside praise to determine how we feel. This, in turn, opens us up to make bold choices, based on our intuitive feelings, and the unique insights that we bring to the table. When we do this, we end up stumbling upon ideas and experiences that we might have otherwise missed. If we stumble, we are able to be there to give ourselves words of encouragement and get back up. By becoming our own inner cheerleader, we develop greater stamina and become better team players, adding our self-generated energy to whatever it is we are doing. This type of energy is inspiring to the people we work with.
The more we lovingly support ourselves, the easier it is to put out our best efforts. In turn, more positive energy and praise will come back to us. So, by taking it upon ourselves to notice the good we are doing, the easier it is for others to notice also.
We do not even have to compliment ourselves out loud or in front of others. We can find some quiet time and write a list of all the positive things that we have done, then read it to ourselves. When I do this, I feel so much better that I do not need to look outside myself for praise. In fact, when I am done listing all of the positive things I have done and experienced in a given day, I am more likely to praise the people around me because I feel so good!
It is up to you to be open to the good that surrounds you and let it in. If you have not taken the time to remind yourself of all the good that you have been up to, now is that time. Include the smallest things and the biggest things on your list. Also include the good that others have done for you and around you. This will add to your joy as you notice how many wonderful things are going on in your life. Take some time to make your list, giving yourself a few moments of appreciation each day. You might like it enough that you start making lists multiple times a day. It is helpful before, and after going into meetings, lectures, or anywhere that you interact with other people. You will be magnetic to the good you seek and others will appreciate the time you took to give yourself a pat on the back.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live every Wednesday at 3 p.m. on www.Unity.FM. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius. com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting guide.
