Facing the unknown can be a scary thing for us, humans. When we experience a situation that has moving parts beyond our control, we become vulnerable to the voices of fear and doubt. These worrisome voices project stories onto the screen of our imaginations. The stories, based on past experiences and beliefs, sound believable when we are faced with uncertain outcomes. The good news is that we do not have to succumb to the nightmarish voices that rise up to advise us. We can take a moment to establish a new relationship with whatever situation we are presently facing. The lunch groups in our district provide wonderful opportunities to practice the art of befriending the unknown.
Students come to the lunch group with their own unique gifts, challenges and personalities. After 21 years in the field, the most valuable lesson I’ve learned is to approach every child with an open and receptive mind. It is a state of curiosity and wonder that facilitates growth, not pretending to know it all.
There was a student who came to the group as sweet as can be. For several weeks it seemed that the only thing this child needed was a place to be encouraged and accepted. Then something changed. One day, while we were playing a game of Connect Four, this student expressed something new. He started making off-color jokes and throwing pieces of the game, as well as other items, into the garbage can. He stopped responding to my instructions and ran off yelling that he wanted everyone to go away. Thankfully, he headed back to his classroom just as the rest of the class was arriving and joined his class for circle time. This gave me time to regroup. At first, this experience was a shock to the system. It would have been easy to take the behavior personally and feel some sort of responsibility or failure as a professional. However, after taking some time to check-in with other team members, it became obvious that this type of behavior was the reason why the student had been recommended for the group in the first place. It turned out to be an excellent opportunity to explore ways to use the lunch group as a means of supporting the student. In fact, the next session was a very different story. With the help of the team, the student learned from the negative experience and came back with a new level of respect and interest in participating in positive ways.
If you are facing a situation that has you feeling overwhelmed, it is time to slow down and adjust your lens. There are always going to be new, unknown adventures to embark on. Most of the time, you do not see them coming. By stepping back to honor your feelings and let the water settle, new clarity will emerge. As you remember who you are, you will realize that you are not alone. You will also tap into new, creative ideas and inspiration. As the situation evolves, you will come to see that you are more powerful, supported and appreciated than you ever imagined.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. For fun, uplifting videos like these columns, follow on Instagram: @CrazyEddyLovesYou. For questions, comments, and ideas for future columns, send an email to: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org
