“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Max Planck, Nobel Prize-winning physicist
I have had several meetings this week. They have all been related to programs for my students. In special education we meet a minimum of one time per year to discuss progress and evaluate the effectiveness of each student’s Individualized Education Plan. All of the meetings have gone very well. The most challenging part of the meetings, for me, has been working with my own fears, doubts, and worries.
For some reason, in the past, meetings have set off all manner of alarms from my subconscious mind. A racing flow of checklists and questions have filled my head as I have wondered if I have done everything right. I have also noticed that my thoughts have tended to focus on the ways that I might have done things wrong, rather than all of the wonderful progress that I have been able to facilitate as an educator.
What I have learned, over time, is that whatever I focus on magnifies. If I am focused on failure, it becomes the only thing I see. On the other hand, if I focus on my success, I feel a deeper sense of fulfillment and well-being. At first glance, focusing solely on my victories might seem short-sighted, or as though I am in denial about certain things. The truth is that by focusing on failure first, it is very difficult to make inspired, and effective choices about how to proceed. When I start by looking at what is going well, I generate the energy and enthusiasm required to make any adjustments that might need to be made in order to build upon my past success.
Recently, I have been working with a student who is always moving about. He gets out of his chair regularly, as his focus bounces from one exciting subject to the next. The interesting thing is that he is able to do calculations and reflect on something he has read while he is in motion. In his case, my primary concern is that he completes his assignments. Rather than expending a great deal of energy trying to get him to sit, I use my energy to redirect his focus to the task at hand. When he has completed an assignment, I reward him by joining in on one of the activities that he is naturally enthusiastic about. Using this approach, we get a lot accomplished.
Every situation is different. In larger groups we might not be able to successfully work in this way. This is why it pays to find the silver lining in each scenario and build upon it. How we look at things changes our experience of those things. If I was to focus my energy on getting this student to sit in his seat first, he would never have completed the amount of work we have completed. By focusing on his natural abilities to reflect on what he is reading, and perform calculations while moving around, I have found it is easier to steer him gradually back into his chair. Over time, he has independently sat for longer periods.
In the case of the meetings I attended, I had to consciously focus on the value of the things that I have done well. Rather than magnifying the few details of the paperwork that I might have overlooked, I chose to focus on how much love I have brought to the lives of each of my students, as well as the academic and social goals that have been achieved. From there I could more easily acknowledge the areas that I would like to improve on, without the fear that my shortcomings would somehow lead to the end of my job, or some other outlandish outcome. I was also able to attend the meetings with more confidence because I had done this relatively easy self-assessment prior to arriving. I was not looking outside myself for approval because I had already received my own.
Are there any areas of your life that you could benefit from giving yourself some well-deserved credit? Have you been limiting your enjoyment of your job, or your parenting by only focusing on your perceived shortcomings? It is worth the time to sit down and make a list of all the things that you are doing well. From there, you will get a more accurate perspective of how your life is going and will have the motivation to make any changes you might want to make. The key is that you will be making the changes from a place of empowerment and inspiration. When you do that, your success is assured.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.
