“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” – W.C. Fields
We all have a story to share with the world. We tell it with our thoughts, our words, and our actions. We also tell it with our expressions, and the tone of our voice. Our story can include our clothing, our friends, and the music we listen to. However we tell it, we are all telling a story.
The most important story we tell is the one that we tell ourselves. When we are having a bad day, it is easy to believe that it is due to outside influences. It seems as though a driver on the road, the long line at the store, or our child’s teacher is to blame for our state of upset. If we will look a little deeper, we will find that it is the things we are thinking about ourselves that really shape the quality of the day we have.
When we take the time to be loving with ourselves, to let ourselves off the hook, and to be forgiving with ourselves, then the world becomes a much more loving and kind place. It also becomes easier to go out and love the people around us. We automatically see the best in them because we have taken the time to see the best in ourselves.
In the lunch groups that I facilitate in our district, when a student is being mean spirited with the other students, it is a sure indicator that he, or she, is not being very kind to themselves. The voices in these students’ heads are often riddled with doubt, fear, and self-condemnation. It is important to find compassion for them, and realize that their behavior is a call for help.
This past week I used this approach with a group of fourth graders who were being particularly harsh with one another. In a quiet moment, I took the ring leader aside, and talked to him directly. I know, from prior information, that he has been having a very difficult time outside of school. While we talked, I could see a young man who has been living through things that many of us will never face. Rather than pity him, this inspired me to speak to the power in him.
I asked this young man to step up and be a leader. I asked him to help me to organize the group. I reminded him to not let the remarks of others into his head, that he is better than that. After we talked, he helped me by engaging in the game we were playing and encouraging the rest of the group to do the same. The other students fell in line with this naturally charismatic young man and we enjoyed a very cooperative session.
Whatever situation you seem to be facing, start by telling yourself a better story. Remind yourself that you are talented, creative, and have much to offer to the world around you. Whatever past hurts you are holding against yourself, let them go. If you will give this a try, you will not be disappointed. Once you tell yourself a better story, you will naturally feel compelled to go out and share it with the world.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com.
