“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller
When we go through a challenging experience, it is easy to get stuck feeling sorry for ourselves. The overwhelming feeling that we are in over our heads can have us looking for a place to hide. While it is understandable to feel vulnerable, scared, and even angry, lingering too long in these feelings can cut us off from the joy of living. This is why it is important to practice looking forward to the new opportunities that are always coming our way.
There is a student in one of our lunch groups who recently moved to Culver City from another school district. He was recommended for the lunch groups because he was not making new friends and missed his old school. The adults in his life were also concerned because he was choosing to spend his recess time reading books in the front office. In fact, that is where he was sitting the first time we met.
Upon meeting this young man, it is obvious that he is a sensitive, kind person. It did not take long for him to mention how he had recently moved and that he missed his old school. He talked about his friends, and how he wished he could go back. It was clear that he felt like he would never have that type of experience again.
Our next meeting was the same as the first. He was seated in the office while his classmates played outside. This time, however, as he lamented about his old school, I reminded him that continuing to look back was not helping him create new experiences. I let him know that I had moved to a new school when I was younger, so I knew how hard it was. I shared with him how I used to spend my days feeling sad about the past, and how I learned to look forward, instead of backwards.
Then I pointed out that he has an opportunity to create new, positive experiences in Culver City. His eyes lit up at the possibility of enjoying his new school. Over the next week, with help from our wonderful team, this young man started looking around for people and activities that he might enjoy. It was not long before he found some friends to hang out with, and then he started racing with them on the grass at recess. All it took was a willingness to focus his energy on where he wanted to go, while appreciating where he had come from.
I used to believe that looking back was the best way to honor the past. I was the master of replaying old sad stories in my mind. I have come to believe that looking forward is the best way to celebrate life and all the people in it. By boldly stepping out into the unknown, we open new doors and create new relationships. Rather than detract from the past, we add to the beautiful, ever-expanding tapestry of life.
Today is the perfect day to get excited about what is next. Make a list of all that is good with you right now. Then, when you are a positive state of mind, think about the coming days. Write down everything that you will enjoy doing. Imagine yourself making some new choices that will give you a renewed sense of creativity. As you do this simple activity, you will feel a connection to yourself. This valuable connection will empower you to enjoy the adventures on the road ahead.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com.
