A reader recently asked if I am really as positive about life as the stories in this column would indicate. The question was a good one, and reflecting on it brought greater clarity regarding the value of choosing a positive outlook. In truth, no one’s mind is always thinking positive thoughts.
We all have moments when our minds race with fear, doubt, and worry. The good news is that seeing life through a positive, constructive lens is a choice. It is something we can work on, no matter what our current state of mind.
It is a pleasure to work with the students in our district because they are receptive to new ways of seeing the world. I worked with a young man who liked to fancy himself as a tough guy. He preferred to direct all the conversations in the lunch group toward football and lacrosse.
He also enjoyed making quick judgments about who was cool enough to be his friend on any given day. It was hard for this young man to drop his “top dog” persona.
As tough as he appeared, he also had a soft spot for music. On top of that, he was very sensitive to looking foolish. As a result, he did not often allow himself to try new things. In order to coax him into some new ways of thinking, I found that it was best to put him in the leadership role, such as making him the team captain, or the deejay in charge of music.
Another trick was to share personal experiences that made trying something new sound like something only tough guys would do. By framing things in a way that spoke to him, we found common ground.
From there it felt safe to step into the unknown. It was a blessing to see him open up and join the rest of the group as we had fun learning new things together.
Sometimes, like the student, we hold limiting definitions about who we are, and what is possible for us. We think that we can not change, so we tend to stay with our old ways of thinking and get the same results.
The trick is in remembering that the present moment is the most powerful time there is. It is in this moment that we can reflect on the thoughts we are thinking, and notice how our thoughts are making us feel. If we do not like the direction our thoughts are taking, we can make a choice to think new, better feeling ones.
Perhaps you are longing to turn over a positive leaf. You can start right now by acknowledging your desire and affirming that you are worthy of the energy it takes to make the shift. In all likelihood you will find that you are already further along the path than you think.
All manner of things will conspire to support and encourage you as you step boldly forward with the intention to be an ambassador of goodwill to everyone you meet. At the least, your days will be filled with wonderful encounters and stories worth sharing.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com or send an email to: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org
