It pays to ask for what you want

Photo Courtesy of Ed Biagiotti. Left to right, Nisi Tuitupou, Lauren Chambers, Talaya Poindexter, Nicole Carter, and Melanie Maqueda (back row in blue) are a talented group of students who are not afraid to ask for what they want. Their bold enthusiasm i

“If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you:  I came to live out loud.”  – Emile Zola

I was leaving Linwood E. Howe Elementary School this week when a group of forth grade students asked me an interesting question.  They wanted to know if I am someone who “makes people famous”.  I paused for a moment to reflect on the question.  I then told them about the column that I write for the local newspaper.  They were ecstatic and told me that they are members of a singing group called The Black Panthers.  They asked if I would write an article about them for the local newspaper.  Here it is.

I chose to write this article because these girls did something that not everyone is willing to do.  They asked for what they wanted.  Beyond that, they listened to their inspiration and took a shot in the dark that I would, indeed, be someone who makes people famous.  While that may be a stretch in my case, they connected with someone who, in their world, can make them famous.  The girls were willing to go so far as to sing and rap for me and tell me all about their musical dreams.

I almost walked away and forgot about the whole thing.  Then I happened to read an email from a friend.  The email contained a group of positive slogans.  The one that caught my eye simply stated, “Do it now.  Sometimes later becomes never.”  I remembered that it was the very day that I planned on writing this article.  Inspired, I ignored any inner resistance and headed back to the school for a picture.

Asking for what you want can be scary.  Many of us have been raised to believe that the world does not revolve around us, and that we should play it safe rather than risk looking foolish.  Those beliefs have gotten in my own way in the past.  The rewards, however, of stepping out boldly and asking for our heart’s desire are priceless.  When we achieve our own dreams, it inspires others to do the same.  We become a brightly burning candle, and we inspire others to stoke their own flames.

This past weekend, we had some large waves pounding the coastline.  On Saturday evening, despite very strong onshore winds and having surfed some stormy waves earlier in the morning, I drove down to the Venice Breakwater to check out the surf.  The wind was howling, even stronger than in the morning.  The waves were breaking large and continuously, and the only other surfer on the beach was breathing heavily and telling me that he was unable to make it out.  Normally this would indicate that it was time to pack it up and head home.  This time, however I felt an urge in my chest.  I had a strong desire to give it a go.

I took some time to reflect on the situation.  I have been surfing daily for quite a while now, and there were lifeguards in the tower.  I knew that I could handle it and I decided to paddle out.  When I got to the place where the biggest waves were breaking, they turned out to be twice as large as they appeared from the beach.  A part of me wanted to turn around.  Instead, I took a breath and relaxed.  I was 15 feet from where I needed to be in the lineup and it was safer to keep going.  Sure enough, in less than a minute I was safely seated in the lineup.

The first wave I caught was beautiful and large.  I rode out of the shoulder safely and breathed a sigh of relief.  After another, smaller ride I knew it was time to catch my last wave as it was getting toward sundown.  The last wave I rode was one of the largest I have ever ridden.  It felt like a two story house and I was hollering the whole way to the beach.  When I washed up on the shore I was in an altered state of bliss.  I was unable to direct some tourists to a local restaurant because I felt so high off of adrenaline.  Like the girls who inspired this article, I was willing to take a risk and ask for what I wanted.  It turned out to be better than expected.

What is something that you desire, but have been afraid to ask for?  You can start with the simple acknowledgment, within yourself, that you really want that thing, that experience, or that opportunity.  Then remain open to the ways life might be delivering to you the very opportunities that you seek.  It worked for the girls of The Black Panthers, and it worked for me.

Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District.  He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org.  Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.