We all have moments when life feels drab. Whatever it is that normally inspires us can go missing, leaving us wondering what we are doing. If we are not careful, we can spiral into fears that we will never feel inspired again. In a desperate attempt to rekindle that spark we might be tempted to make drastic changes in our relationships, job, or living situation. Before we go too far in our attempts to feel alive, there is one thing we can do that will immediately improve our situation.
Many of us have been taught that the way we feel is out of our control. We think that our emotions are simply reactions to the conditions we are facing. Thankfully, life is more than an endless series of actions and reactions. In the middle of it all, here and now, we can consciously choose where we put our attention. When we decide to practice this skill, we realize that no matter what happens, we can choose what attitude and emotion we bring to our lives.
This truth is something to get excited about. It is energizing to recognize that no matter what has happened in the past, and how we have reacted to those events, we can choose a new path now. It all starts with a shift in perspective and the decision to see the good in the midst of whatever challenges we are facing.
I worked with a kindergarten student who was guarded and refused to sit still long enough to have a conversation. One day, at a lunch group, he told me that his father had died a little while ago. My heart went out to him and his behavior suddenly made sense. As I reflected on his situation, I recognized that he would benefit from our weekly lunch groups if we was willing to slow down and open up.
In the weeks that followed, my fathering instincts kicked in and I started asking him the kind of questions about his life that I would ask my own son at that age. We talked about his weekends, playing at the beach, and all sorts of silly things. In a relatively short time, this young man blossomed. He started asking his teacher when the next lunch group would happen. He told her that he loved the group and wished it was happening every day. He also started behaving better in class. His natural joy and enthusiasm started coming through in healthy ways.
We all have reasons to be cynical and believe that we are incapable of leading the kind of lives we dream of living. We have experienced things that have felt unfair or cruel. Unfortunately, holding on to those beliefs and feelings can become a prison for ourselves. We are here to share our gifts and talents and to enjoy being alive. When we stop living with enthusiasm, it causes undue stress and interferes with our relationships. It also drains the satisfaction from the things that once inspired us.
Now is the perfect time to make the choice to rekindle your enthusiasm in any area where it has waned. Begin by taking some quiet time to yourself. It only takes a few minutes to sit down and shift your focus from fear, doubt, and worry to relief, appreciation, and wonder. Making a list of all the good that is happening in your life is a great way to start. I like to make “appreciation lists” on my phone. I do it throughout the day, whenever I need a mood boost.
If you are willing to bring a fresh energy to what you do, you will find that everything changes for the better. Your enthusiasm is the spark that brings out the best in others. This simple shift in the way you feel will lead to deeper satisfaction and more enriching experiences. The best part is, no matter what you decide to do next, you will take your joy with you.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. For questions, comments, and ideas for future columns, send an email to EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org
