The holidays are all about giving. For many of us, the desire to give the perfect gifts can create stress that zaps the fun from the process. Stepping back, it is easy to see that gift-giving was meant to be a joyful process. Thankfully, with a little intention, the holidays can truly be the most wonderful time of the year.
Working with students provides many examples of the importance of reflecting on our intentions when interacting with others. Last week, a student in one of the lunch groups was attempting to tell another student how much he enjoyed playing with him. Unfortunately, the volume of his voice and his choice of words left the other student feeling like he was being attacked. After I intervened and some level of calm was restored, we had a discussion about what had happened.
I had witnessed the whole episode and was able to use some guiding questions to move us in the direction of clarity and resolve. I asked the first student what he was intending to communicate. He let us know that he was trying to say that he liked the other student and thought of him as a friend. He wanted them to play together. As we sat listening to one another, it became evident that there were clearer ways to communicate that message. It also came to light that the second student was already having a bad day, and was therefore more prone to take offense than he normally would be. He was reacting more to the upset he was already carrying inside, than what the other boy was doing.
So how does this apply to giving gifts? In this case, the first student thought he was giving a gift, and the second student felt like he was being attacked. If we take the time, before we give a gift, to consider what we intend to communicate, and who we are sharing with, everything will go smoother. We are more likely to have the type of exchanges we desire.
Some intentions will energize us, while others will lead to burn out. Knowing the difference is important. For example, attempting to prove our worth with a gift is a dead-end street. On the other hand, if we intend on sharing some love, in a way that will brighten someone else’s day, then we open ourselves up to a host of new gift ideas. These types of ideas are the best because the act of giving fills us up with new energy. What could be better than giving and receiving, all rolled into one?
Take some time to reflect on your intentions this holiday season. The perfect gifts are closer than you think. Taking the time to clarify your intentions will help you see things in a new light and set you on an adventure in which the perfect gifts come out of nowhere. What could be better than fostering feelings of goodwill and good cheer that leave you feeling recharged and refreshed when the holidays have come and gone?
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com or email him directly at: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org
