Remind yourself that change is good

Photo courtesy of Ed Biagiotti adapting to change—Change is always happening and Biagiotti knows that when it seems to happen all at once, one must surrender and go with it. Even positive change can bring up a sense of unease while adapting.

“Once ready, it takes flight, leaving old ways behind as it soars freely.” – Daily Word Magazine

Change is afoot in Culver City Unified School District.  With the end of the school year upon us, there are many little details to be wrapped up, meetings to be held, and parties to be thrown.  Amidst all of this change, it is easy to feel stressed out and overwhelmed.  It is times like these that it helps to take the time to remind ourselves that everything is actually going well.

Change is always happening.  At times, however, it seems to happen all at once, and we have no choice but to surrender and go with it.  What is remarkable, and what can feel puzzling is the fact that even positive change can bring up a sense of uneasiness as we move through it.  It is as though part of our mind does not like change and begins to get upset by the shifts that are happening all around.  Moving into summer vacation is the perfect example.  While there is a great sense of relief, there are also questions that come up about what will happen next.

I have come to see that the first step to take, when I feel overwhelmed by change, is to remind myself that it is okay.  This came up for me recently, when I got into a heated discussion with a co-worker.  I did not realize how much stress I was feeling until it all came pouring out.  I had to remind myself that, in a way, the upset that I was feeling was actually an indicator that new and better things are happening.  By realizing that my inner-change alarms were going off, I could retrain myself to accept the change as a positive occurrence.

Our children are the same way.  Their lives are often changing, from grade to grade, and age to age.  When things change for their parents, or their teachers, they feel it.  This can bring up a sense of anxiety for children, and that can set off behaviors that they do not normally engage in, as a way to cope with the change.  While many people understand this, or would like to, few people take the time to really listen to their children and celebrate the changes with them.  Finding ways to turn a challenging transition into an opportunity for growth and expansion is a creative opportunity worth exploring.

I have seen students, in the most challenging situations, rebound when they realize that the events happening around them are not personal.  By helping them see that the fears and other anxious thoughts and feelings that they are experiencing are also not personal, or wrong, they begin to relax into the change.  It does not take long, with this approach, for a new sense of empowerment to emerge.

I once worked with a student who had been expelled from middle school for a drug- related offense.  When he arrived in my classroom, he was ready for a fight.  When I met him with a smile, and an understanding demeanor, he let his guard down.  I found him to be reliable and caring. I helped him develop new strategies for completing his work more efficiently, and for thinking about the challenges he was facing.  It gave me great satisfaction to hold this higher perspective for him.  What looked like a negative situation turned into a very positive experience.

So take a moment, and think about any stress you are feeling.  In what ways are you feeling overwhelmed by the changes in your life, even the positive changes?  Remind yourself that it is okay, and as much as you might like things to stay the same, change is always leading to something bigger and better.  Taking a moment to find a small positive in a scary transition can make a world of difference in getting you back to a sense of peace and contentment.  As always, you are worth it.

Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District.  He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, live each week, Wednesdays at 3 pm on www.UnityOnlineRadio.org.  Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.