“Every once in a while, everybody needs to give themselves a big Ol’ bear hug and treat themselves to some TLC.” – Sean Covey
Some students go slow, and some students go fast. One is not better than the other. In fact, there is a time for speed and a time for taking a more measured pace. The difficulty often happens when we try to go too fast. This often leads to spending more time having to go back to clean up mistakes that could have been avoided.
When we are rushing, we also miss out on valuable interactions that make life a wonderful experience.
A student came to the lunch group who was always going 100 miles per hour. At the beginning, due to his frantic pace, it was difficult to have a conversation or play a game that required teamwork. It felt as though he was trying to avoid missing out on something.
As a result, he was missing out on the joy of being with his friends in a fun and creative setting.
As tempting as it was to get frustrated, I did my best to pay attention to him without chasing him around. My job was to be a calm anchor that he could come back to when he realized that he was steering off course. Sometimes, we would have inspired conversations when everyone else had gone to recess. I would remind him how much I appreciate him and also, how important it is that he focus on what the group was doing.
I let him know that we all missed out when he was not part of the group.
Over time, he started to mature. Now he comes to the group, enjoys interacting with his peers, and has great conversations with his teacher.
We can all take this same firm and loving approach to our own mind when we find ourselves running around trying to get everything done. It is all about recognizing when we need to take a break to reset our thinking.
At those moments, talking to ourselves in a clear and positive way works wonders, even when it does not seem like it will. One of the reasons positive self-talk is so effective is that it addresses the underlying motivation for rushing around.
Most of the time, when we are rushing around it is because we are worried that there’s not enough time or that we have to earn the respect of our peers and associates. The reason these thoughts feel bad, and cause stress in the body, is that they are not true. The only opinion that really matters, and the only one that is reliable is our own. When we start to believe that we are not good enough, or that there is not enough time, we need to change our own perspective.
By slowing down we actually gain time because our actions and interactions are far more effective. When we focus on doing what we are inspired to do, rather than what our fear is telling us must get done, our list gets completed with greater ease.
We also make friends along the way. We see people as allies, rather than potential barriers to us getting where we need to go. Real success is based on a foundation of good relationships. After all, when it comes time to do a job, you never know who will end up being a part of your team.
Like my student, if you take the time to slow down and listen to what is going on around you, everyone benefits. You receive the gifts that the people in your life are offering, and they get to appreciate the gifts you bring to life. This exchange of talents and collaboration with peers, in a relationship of mutual appreciation, guarantees success. Doors open where you did not even realize they existed, and you always find just what you are looking for.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com or send an email to: EdwardBiagiotti@ccusd.org
