“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” — Oscar Wilde
Nothing seemed to go the way I thought it would last week. I was excited to get started with all of my lunch groups, looking forward to seeing all of the familiar faces. In the previous weeks, I had checked in with my students, letting them know we would be getting together and making the necessary arrangements to reconvene. Then I remembered we had Monday off, and on Tuesday I came down with a fever.
At first I felt frustrated and stifled by all of this. Then I slowed down and took care of myself. I decided to see what I could learn from the experience. During my down time, I was able to reflect on my job and my relationships. I was able to take stock of my emotions. I thought about what I have learned from past years and found greater peace and confidence for the year ahead.
This detour turned out to be a valuable one after all. On Thursday and Friday, I was back on track at Culver City Middle School and La Ballona Elementary School.
Emotional confidence is equally important to mental confidence. When we feel good about life, and trust that unknown occurrences are actually working out on our behalf, we begin to see things through a different lens. Rather than threatening our plans, unexpected events are part of the plan. They add depth and learning opportunities to our day.
Engaging life with our mind and appreciating our emotions is all part of being alive. It is especially important when we encounter surprises. By honoring the way we feel, we get to learn more about who we are, and we are better able to relate to other people. In fact, successfully relating to people requires that we know how we feel and what we think.
In this way we avoid engaging in mental battles. We gain the flexibility required to embrace our ever changing world and all those in it. We are able to reach a place of understanding that is built on respect. When we recognize everyone as equal partners in this life, and listen with an open mind, new ideas are born.
The community experience deepens, and the best in everyone comes shining forward.
Many amazing young people are stuck in feelings of despair. Often times they do not fit into the expectations of the world around them. The first step in connecting with these students is to listen intently. By seeing that spark within them, while listening to the ways that they are struggling, it is easy to find compassion within ourselves.
This compassion is just as much for us as it is for them. We will see parts of ourselves that are still healing, that want to be heard and embraced.
By recognizing ourselves in these students, and then affirming that we hear where they are coming from, amazing things happen. Many of these students are waiting for someone to take a moment, to stop asking the same old questions, and to start seeing them as valuable for being who they are. This is where we find the truth. We are all in this together. Each one of us is whole and perfect in our own way. When we honor ourselves as such, and find ways to share our gifts, then we are truly living.
It is wonderful to visit a school, run into a student who was struggling in the past, and see that he is now having fun and enjoying his time at school.
It is a reminder about what can happen when we are willing to drop our concrete plans and open up to the unexpected. There is always something wonderful trying to happen. Sometimes we have to be willing to look for it, and trust that it exists.
Think about an unexpected situation that you are facing. Ask yourself what you might be able to learn from it, and how you might approach the situation differently. It starts with being curious about what is possible.
As always, I recommend making a list of the good that is coming from the seeming obstacle. Taking the time to appreciate the positives will help you build momentum and enthusiasm for the road ahead. The sooner you turn the unknown into something exciting, the sooner you get to enjoy the ride, and that is what it is all about.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.
