“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” – Dr. Seuss
When we are in a bad mood, it is tempting to dig into what we are doing and force things to get done. There is something about the rush of anger, and other negative emotions, that makes it tempting to milk them for all they are worth. At times, this includes taking them out on ourselves and others. While this method is understandable, it is not the most effective way to get where we want to go.
It is important to pay attention to the way we feel. As my co-host on Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed often reminds me, our emotions are indicators, not facts. They are indicating which direction our own mind is heading. When we feel good, we are cooperating with life, and moving in a positive direction. When we feel bad, it is an indication that there is conflict in our thinking, and it is time to pull over and check-in with ourselves.
Thankfully, we have the ability to be good to ourselves, even when we are not feeling good about ourselves. If our mind is thinking negative thoughts, we do not have to take action or make important decisions from that headspace. We can take some time, even if only a few minutes, to reflect about what is going on in our mind.
Once we listen to ourselves, we can sit and breathe, and think a few positive thoughts. Even if we do not fully believe it yet, we can affirm that all is well. We can remind ourselves that we have felt those feelings before and that we have made it through them successfully. We can also counter whatever negative arguments our minds are presenting us with. It as simple as saying to ourselves, “I hear you. Everything is okay.”
I used this approach with some lunch groups this week. As I walked into the school, I could sense some grumblings going on within me. I recognized that if I went into the lunch groups with all of that going on inside of my own mind, then I would likely not have a very good day with my students. After all, a positive attitude is one of the most important things that I bring to the children who attend the lunch groups.
As I walked toward the school, I paused and took a deep breath. I let myself off the hook by reminding myself that it was okay to have whatever thoughts and feelings I was having, and that I was going to let it all go and enjoy my time with the kids. By taking those moments to get myself going in the right direction the lunch groups flew by and I was on to the next assignment.
It is valuable to catch our negative moods while they are small. When we do, it is easier to shift gears, and get ourselves feeling better. It is also makes for a more pleasant life experience when we know how we are feeling before someone else has to point it out to us. A positive attitude cannot be forced. It takes patience and kindness, with ourselves first and foremost.
If you find yourself in a negative mood, relax. Rather than trying to push through the day, or rush through the meeting, take a moment to breathe. Mentally drop everything. This alone will create space for new, inspired thoughts to come in. If you have time, take a nap, listen to an uplifting song, or call a friend who will boost your spirits.
When you feel good, you are more effective. People are more likely to let their own guard down if you have already dropped your own. Pay attention to the way you feel, and then take action to give yourself a boost. The benefits far outweigh the costs, and the people you meet will be grateful.
Edward Biagiotti is the Inclusion Specialist for Culver City Unified School District. He is also co-host of the popular radio show, Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed, to find out more go to www.DarrellandEd.com. Visit www.TappingIntoGenius.com for more articles and a free, inspirational parenting download.
